TRUSTINESS: It’s better than sushi.
What if he never learns to read? What if she doesn’t make any friends? What if all they want to do is play video games? What if ….what if….what if?
As an unschooling parent, you, like me, have probably been asked these questions, over and over again. Sometimes, the question, accompanied by a concerned frown, comes from a well-meaning relative (who probably just happens to be a middle school math teacher) or a curious but skeptical neighbor who watches enviously as you and your family pick blackberries from the garden while she hustles her kids out of the house each morning. And sometimes, the question is posed with a little more aggression, a little more hostility, with the unspoken subtext crystal clear. “What do you mean, your kids don’t go to school? How will they learn anything? Do you want them living in your basement, playing World of Warcraft in their underwear, when they are thirty?”
Like me, you’ve probably heard those questions. And like me, you may have even asked yourself during those late-night moments of doubt. It’s okay to admit it here – I once confessed that I had bribed Julian with candy to do some math worksheets, and no one threw rotten tomatoes at me, and I wasn’t shunned for very long…We all have doubts. We all have moments when we imagine the worst. We all have times when we question, we wonder, we worry. Because we love our children, and, as unschooling parents, or parents of any kind, really, what we want most is for them to be happy.
Accepting and then embracing an unschooling lifestyle takes many things. It takes creativity and a willingness to let go of society’s expectations and definitions of success. It takes patience, with yourself, with your children, and with well-intentioned people who just don’t get it. It takes an ability to let go of control and release your own agenda. It takes courage, a sense of humor, and a hunger to live life fully and joyfully. And, perhaps most important, living an unschooled life takes trust.
How do we learn to trust – to trust ourselves and our partners, to trust our children, and to trust the process of unschooling? That is the question, and together, we will try to find an answer.
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